But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
