Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
