I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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