God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
