He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize
