Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
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you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
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Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize