She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
