And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
