Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
