Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
try to milk me bitch
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