Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
