Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
