i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
