y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
