Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Someone shattered a urinal.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
