Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
it's like heaven, but drunker
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
