She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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