Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
