theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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