All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
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Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
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I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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