Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
