remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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