shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize