Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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