your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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