porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
