Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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