is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I am naked and annoyed.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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