Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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