if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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