Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
