did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
