shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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