Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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