small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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