i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
