you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
