He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
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