i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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