so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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