i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
