I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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