The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I came so hard my ears popped.
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