You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
