he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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