dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
