problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
