my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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