i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
