Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
