Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
