my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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