too bad you live with your parents still
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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