No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he was CRYING into my vagina
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
