i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
lets start a swedish sibling band together
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize