get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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