Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
