sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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